Why I Dropped Out…
June 1, 2009
It’s hard to explain why I dropped out, but of course I’m asked often. I think it’s time for me to attempt to explain why I decided to leave, and why I don’t regret either going or leaving even the least bit.
Ever since I was about fourteen I’ve been telling people I was going to be a photographer. It’s always been a huge part of my life. I was thrilled to finally be getting to go to a real college to study it. I got there and fell in love with everything. I even picked up a minor in modern Greek language within my first few weeks at Drexel. It wasn’t easy though. The first term you’re not even allowed to take photography classes, you start with 2-D black and white design. Your thoughts and ideas find themselves made of acrylic on illustration board, constantly being critiqued and revised. I would spend entire days working on projects, only to have to throw them out and start again. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it. I signed the forms for Drexel because I knew they’d kick my butt. I love challenge, especially after spending years at community college being bored out of my mind.
It wasn’t until the winter term when I started re-thinking things. On top of my regular classes and Design 2: Color Theory (which proved to be crazier and worse than the first design) I had my first photography class that was a black and white dark-room class. Then there’s the simple fact that it was winter. I don’t just not like winter and the cold – I despise it. Part of the reason I have such an opposition to it is that I’ve always had problems with depression and the winter is always the hardest time of the year for me.
I’ll skip ahead to the end of the term. I went into the final critique of both my Design and Photography classes pinning up work that I had spent hours on and absolutely hated. It wasn’t my work, it was what I thought might get me an good grade. I was exhausted and realized I no longer enjoyed photography how I used to, and I didn’t want to commit the next three years and my career to something I no longer liked or enjoyed. Then there were financial problems, and thats when me and my parents knew it was time to go.
There’s not an easy answer to why exactly I left, it was many reasons, but in the end it worked out. Just because I’m not in college doesn’t mean I’m not going anywhere, or that I’ve given up or anything. College or not, I’m the same perfectionist who makes “grand plans.” I didn’t want to stay in college just cause it’s the american dream to go to a good school, get good grades and get a good job. There’s so much more to life, and I know that God can get me amazing places, with or without being at college.